You know those AT&T commercials? The ones with the kids that are so totally random you can't possibly believe things like that happen. Well they do. Those are real. Here's just a taste of my day.
4th grader (imagine the most ADHD child you know ever since kindergarten): Hey, Mrs. Flaherty?
4th grader: Did you know I have ADHD?
Me: Yes, yes sir, I did.
What I really wanted to say: Are you just now realizing this? I've known since 2008.
4th grader (different one, not doing any work in my class)...
Me: Hey buddy, what's going on, why aren't you doing anything?
4th grader: Well I just know you don't have the career I want, and you aren't going to let me choose it, so there's no point in me doing anything.
Me: What's the career?
4th grader: I want to be in the Air Force.
Me: Well that's part of the military. I would definitely say that's a valid career. You can choose that, now let's get to work.
Assistant Principal appears on the scene: Hey _______, why aren't you working?
Me: Well he's just distracted because he doesn't think I'm going to let him choose the career he wants.
4th grader to assistant principal: Well I just really didn't think she would write shooting people up on a battlefield as an option.
Me: Well, I was thinking I would write something more like military....
Meanwhile the former ADHD 4th grader is crab walking around us in circles....
Kindergartener: Mrs. Flaherty do you want to grow up and become a doctor so you can get married.
Me: You know I think I'll stick with this.
10 minutes later....
Kindergartener: Mrs. Flaherty I'm going to grow up and become a doctor. Then I will get to be a bride. I hope someone falls in love with me when I like them.
5th grader (clearly having zero idea what she's talking about that): Mrs. Flaherty have you ever done crystal meth?
Me: WHAT?!? I mean no, no don't ever talk about that again. Not appropriate.